Forgotten Virtues #1: Honor

Without honor, it’s difficult to place value on anything you hold dear. Let’s face it, the value we place on things today could use some proper thought and respect. Well, before we can venture any further, we must have a standard definition we can go on and here it is:  Honor means to value, respect or highly regard something as precious or valuable. So with that definition, my first question is placed:  What do you value in your life as precious or valuable? What do you respect with utmost regards for your life and spiritual walk with Christ?

First, we must understand respect is earned whereas honor……is given. Take a look at Mark 6:5-6-

5 He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them.6 He was amazed at their lack of faith.

See, our honor goes further than just the exterior but it deals with the interior as being the primary hub of our life. Honor is not something that is here today and gone tomorrow; even though it can be in some cases. Let’s be honest, we honor a lot of things especially when it comes to celebrities, sports figures and our own family. We say we value and honor God but our actions show a different path. We say we love other people and should accept them “just the way they are” that is until an individual is found guilty of a terrible crime, a homosexual walks into our church or someone walks in whom we have a grudge and then…..then the story changes.. What about that “ex” in the relationship who isn’t cooperating the way you want them too, who chooses to make continuous choices which are not of God. We find those people who have a lot of tattoos, known to drink or dabble in things they shouldn’t, and chastise them, condemn and judge them in ways we think are justified. Well then, who are we called to honor right?

We are called to honor our father and mother.  Look at Exodus 20:12:

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12


See, this is a command from God, not a request or if you want too do that type request.. God commands us to honor our father and mother and why?? So that you may life long in the land of the Lord the Lord is giving you .

Second, we’re called to honor authority:

Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe…respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Romans 13:7

God is clear on authority and how you’re suppose to honor it as well.

There’s a third one as well: servants, leaders and pastors.

The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching. 1 Timothy 5:17


 
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10 ESV

My second question is:  Do we honor each other? Do we love each other-truly love each other or is it something we say?? God is clear to command us to not only love each other but show honor-trying to “outdo” one another! God also commands us to love the elders of the church and especially “those whose work is preaching and teaching.” I know in church it may be hard from time to time to love the elders and those who teach and preach but, God is clear. We must support our pastor and the elders as long as it’s biblical and he’s being led by the Spirit. (There are exceptions but for the sake of argument, we’re assuming this is not one of them).  If a pastor or leader is “led by the Spirit” and you honestly believe it, then why would you go against it? Yet we do it all the time as we play games with God and jump from church to church.  There’s no honor when we try to share our allegiance with God and something/someone else.. We continue to have our “own” belief yet in the Bible, it’s clear. Yes, I understand we have various interpretations but after everything, it should all come back to the Kingdom of God. If we’re honest with ourself, the reason we’re so dishonoring is because we don’t honor God. We treat Him like something in the words if we just go and find it.. It’s not like that, he’s right here waiting for you to make a move; it’s up to you..

What’s left right?? How can we honor those around us whether they deserve it or not?  What do you honor in your life more than God?  When we dishonor ourself, we’re in essence dishonoring God.  Let’s fight this thing together..Let’s honor one another and more importantly, our God. He IS RISEN!! HE IS NO LONGER DEAD!!

Maintenance Required…

Cars have a mileage at which they require maintenance to continue running at its top condition. Yards, landscaping etc. have a time in which they need more attention than at other times; maintenance. Car seats have a 6 year “life” but while it’s in your car, it requires constant checking to make sure it’s tight and secure; maintenance. Everything has maintenance to help continue top working order, but do we? Where do we fit in on maintenance? Where does the church, life groups, friends and family fit into the maintenance schedule? Sadly, it doesn’t at times. Let’s face it, there are areas in our walk with God we forget to address or it’s “addressed by this group or that group,” not me.. More specifically, the church people at times can forget to maintain the relationships, issues in peoples lives, and truth be told it can’t address all of them. I’ve noticed throughout my professional career as an educator, my walk with Christ in the church, a husband-friend, and in general, we drop the ball in maintaining people and their issues. Don’t get me wrong and I send out this disclaimer very strongly: I am NOT bashing the church or the people in it. I’m not pointing any fingers as I myself have to point them at me as well.

Think about it; if someone has an alcohol addiction, pornography addiction or drug addiction, we’ll run to them, pray and lift them up. We’ll provide resources, people to help walk a long with them at times and support groups. However, once they’ve beaten the addiction/issues so to speak, they kinda fall out of the radar and people’s mind/sight. Here’s an example:

I know someone who struggled with alcohol, people thought he was hopeless and if God ever got a hold of him-it would be a miracle. Few people from the local church got wind he had questioned a little about God etc. and so they went to visit. After several visits he ended up wanting to go to church, cut their grass and became involved in the Christmas program. He did give his life to Christ and everyone around was excited. The devil worked over time so to speak because he and his wife began having issues. The church from our understanding knew a little but didn’t know the whole story and well to make a long story short; he stopped going to church, dropped out of the choir yet no one came to visit, no one came to check on him but when he and his wife divorced, they had a lot to say.. (NOT positive if you will.) It’s so sad this situation happened and yes there are other facts and details we knew or didn’t know about, knowledge by the church was limited but the hurt and abandonment was still there. His response was hurt and disappointment-and to this day he’s still not involved at all with that church. Yet his view and perception is now tainted about not only the church but the people who are in it. He saw people who ran and helped him get out of the ditch but then walked off when he needed the guidance and direction to go; he was new to the whole thing.

Maintenance. It’s not only “repairing” or up-keeping your walk with other Christians but it’s also checking on each other, encouraging, a phone call, letter/e-mail-text or pat on the back. When we as Christ Followers bring people out of the muck and then leave them to fend for them self, even the strongest Christian can feel abandoned, left out or un-cared for. It’s satan working over time to make you feel that way but in a sense, we’re failing to do what Christ called us to do. Look at Romans 14:19

Romans 14:19 (MSG)

So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words;

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (MSG)

So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.

Just as a yard will be overtaken by the grass, weeds, bugs and other aspects, just as our car needs maintenance in order to keep running properly, our bodies need maintenance such as brushing our teeth so they won’t fall out, eating healthy to have a long and prosperous life, so should our Christian walk be maintained not only with God, but with each other.

We saw a short clip today which reminded me of something different. The clip basically featured a man who is seated in the church, asks the people (camera) to just let “him in,” no judgement, no second glances, just let him in. In that moment, I thought of how many Christians in the church has been helped and then left-unintentional that is and unseen, but nevertheless, left. No one has checked on them, no one has held them accountable anymore and no one is just “letting them in.”

I’ll be honest, these feelings have been felt at times in my life. Yes my walk with God hasn’t been as close as it should have been, nor where it needed to be. I was struggling fitting in, trying to find my place with the ‘cliques’ that have been formed yet feeling a sense of loneliness… I’m not going to write about anything that I don’t know about or felt at one time or the other. The point?? I’m not the only one who walks into a church, school, family or other places where maintenance is required-and feel alone or left out.

Our walk with God is our responsibility and shouldn’t depend on anyone or anything I get that, but scripture also tells us to encourage, lift each other up and build upon one another. So the question remains: Do you feel this way? Is your maintenance light on in your life yet you’re having a hard time with the repair? If someone you know has been out of church, meeting, social circle or other, have you noticed and maybe just shot them an e-mail, text or phone call?? Are you the one out and haven’t received any notification yourself, so your feelings are in a tumble?

I’m not sure what the answer is at times, but I do know to trust God and I know He is our one true mechanic who is the ONLY one who can repair our hearts and feelings. Never allow satan to use those feelings to eat you from the inside because once he’s in, he’ll destroy your thought process, your perception and your reality. Sooner or later you’re thinking no one cares, no one calls and no one is there when I need them most.. (People have to know your hurting before they can help however, and you must continue to ask yourself if you’re involved in life groups, a social circle or other.)  Where are you in your walk? I’ve heard it said before, in order to get help, you must be a help first.. So are you helping??

 

Acting. Is it so wrong?

I guess that’s a loaded question in some retrospects.. When we’re acting like our age-maybe a good thing…what about when we’re acting like a fool-maybe a bad thing..Acting can or can’t be a positive in our life but there’s one place acting shouldn’t be a part of our life; our Christian walk. The church and our life is no place for acting or “playing” church or Christian. Matter of fact, when the church stops being the church and starts doing church, It becomes a dead monument. We must be sure that our heart is pure, it beats for Christ and Christ alone.

Matthew 18:11:

“For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.”

Christ didn’t come into the world to save the Christians, the “holy” or the faithful, but that which was lost. “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,” remember John 3:16?? God gave up His Son so that we may have life and life abundantly.. There was no acting when God hung upon the tree, beaten and bruised for our iniquities. He withstood it all for us and the best we can do is “act” like a Christian… We go to church on Sunday, get emotional and come Mon-Sat., we’re our old selves. Well, God has actually mandated us to reach a lost and broken world. We are God’s spiritual GPS system. Let’s face it, we have a generation of people on this earth who are preoccupied with life. They have no “purpose,” in their life and they’re missing out. They can’t seem to find a spot or what they’re suppose to do.. Yet, God tells us in Matthew 28:19-20 says:

“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: 20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.”

God tells us to teach, baptize them and observe all things. God has given us a command and tells us what to do so why do we “act” like we’re doing it? Our Pastor at Church at The Ridge said it best today in our Series: “One Cry;” “It’s time we start caring about God’s opinion and stop caring about the worlds!” Another way he put it was..”We all want to look around and ask for revival; we all want to look at others and tell them what they need but we don’t like looking at our own self and making the change; it’s the internal we need to look into.”  In other words, if we can get the internal, (heart) right-the external will follow. God tells us in Proverbs that the heart is the wellspring of life. God goes as far as telling us not to be conformed to this world. We’re not suppose to do the same things as everyone else, but we’re suppose to be different.

EX: The world says divorce is a way out, God says a covenant with Him should not be broken. (In respect to those who are in abusive relationships, verbal and/or physical etc.) The world says work hard and long hours to support your family, get as many things as you can; that’s what you’re owed.. You deserve it. Christ says in and through me, I’ll give you everything you need; you may not receive the riches of this world but you’ll be rich in Heaven. We could keep going but I hope you see the point, the world’s view is so contorted and twisted. The world says it’s about “me,” while God says it’s all about Him.

Romans 12:2

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

The bottom line, we have to stop acting like a Christian and start being one. Is it hard, yes very hard and at times, seems impossible. I’m so suffering in this right now but I’m going to allow God to take me to a place of realism. I don’t want to be fake anymore, acting one way with one group of people but acting a different way with a different group. In other words, I don’t want to “act” like a Christian on Sunday but Mon-Sat. act like a fool.. I want those around me to see Christ in me and I can’t do it when I’m acting..

So let me ask you, what are you “acting?” What’s not real in your life but you have everyone else thinking it is? There’s something you’re hiding, pushed way down and you’re afraid if anyone finds out, it’ll have a terrible outcome. You’re acting like everything is ok at home but inside, you’re torn apart; you’re acting like everything is ok with the habit of pornography, drinking, smoking or other habit or hangup, but inside it’s eating you apart. Aren’t you tired of it tearing at your insides, aren’t you ready to become real and just give it up to God?? Stop acting like a Christian…start being one.. As for me?? I’ll join you because let’s be honest-I act at times when I know I shouldn’t and I’m tired of acting.. Let’s get real.. You in or you want to keep acting??

Walking down memory lane…

Isn’t it good to walk down memory? Ok, so during the good times-isn’t it nice to walk down memory lane? I had a small chance to do just that over the past 2 days. Between a friend finding a friend and they mentioning me in a comment, I was able to locate some old friends. These were friends of mine from 1996-97 at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. I attended UAB for about a year and 3-4 months; can’t quite remember.. Anywho, my room mate and I-Jeremy F. met that Aug. of 96. We were both insecure about who are room mate was going to be and he had just had a bad experience. I was just moving in and had no clue what to even expect, the rules or even how to do anything? Plus, this was the first time I was moving out of the house to actually have my own responsibility-scary since I had everything done to me to this point. However, Jeremy and I formed a wonderful friendship which even today, is pretty tightly knit. We don’t speak as much as maybe we should but he knows I always have his back-no matter what. Jeremy and I had a unique relationship and we are truly opposite from one another: Example: He was in the ROTC program, I respected it but I wasn’t going to do it. I liked rap music and he can’t stand it, he liked the History Channel and I liked Monday Night Raw!! We compensated for our shortcomings and made up for our shortfalls. We would often race home on certain nights of the week so we could watch what we wanted since we got to the dorm first! We would label our food in the refrigerator, take turns doing the dishes unless it was ours and often times we’d shop for groceries on our own; at first. As time grew on and I brought back my parents cooking, we realized if we’d work together, buy groceries together, prepare meals together etc,. things would be a lot better. We soon realized we could have a friendship which would make things easier, instead of harder so….it began. Jeremy and I became involved in various clubs on campus of UAB and if I was the Pres., he was often the VP and when he was Pres., I was often the VP. If we weren’t flip flopping the duties, we were very close in whatever we were doing. We ignited UAB with several entertainers such as CarrotTop, Etta Mae, Sammy Kershaw, Clay Aiken and many more. We held Springfest for 2 years in a row and had a blast. We met a lot of friends such as Lura Foreman who was our mentor/guide and overseerer. We met friends like Laura Pell who I have just re-connected with over the past 2 days, discussing “what it was like back then” while posting pictures of me with hair! Yes, I said hair! Lol. Natalie Holloway was another friend of ours along with Neil, Andre and Lindsay who were in our dorm complex; we were often times aggravating, visiting or hanging out with one another. The times we shared during the days of UAB are memories I want to hold onto forever. Not just because of the success we had, the things we done, the places we went and much more, but for the friendships we formed. Jeremy and I have remained friends over the past 15 years, I was honored and blessed to sing at his wedding and just recently we had lunch together with his family. It was great hashing over old memories and wonderful to see the new ones we’d both made. Not much has changed between us and now that we are in touch with some of the others, friendships will once again, become stronger.

Memory lane. What memories do you have which are positive? I know we all have negative and harmful memories but what are the memories you have which are positive in your life? What things can you think of that brings a smile to your face, or a memory which sparks a devilish grin from within.. What person can you think of which brings a positive impact in your life or brings a thought of fulfillment, happiness or peace to your life? Better question: Where would you be without them creating that impact in your life? What kinds of friendships would you have made W/O them in your life? Personally, I like…no I love the fact that I have Jeremy, Laura, Andre, Lindsey, Natalie and many others-impact my life. The friends I made there are still here with me today and the memories are kept forever. One day, I hope my children find the Jeremy and Laura’s in their life so they too, can share great memories and have wonderful friendships. Better yet, are you that to someone else?? You know, to have a friend you have to be a friend. I hope and pray that I was and still am, a good friend to the people around me. I want my friends to go with me through this life until my end comes. Friendships are rare, precious and are highly sought after if they’re true. I hope you have someone in your life that you can be a friend too and for you to be a friend of.. If not, you’re truly missing out on the splendors of life and basically, God’s desire for our heart.

Pain..Believe it or not, it can serve a good purpose..

We’ve all experienced at least one or more of the following events in our life which caused pain:

-death of a loved one (family, friend, spouse etc.)  -divorce     -loss of a job     -loss of money or financial problems

-marriage problems     -job issues     -disappointment     -physical and/or mental trauma     -disease or sickness 

-heartbreak     -loss of a pet     -abuse (physical, mental, neglect)    -words

They hurt. Sometimes more than words can say; sometimes a permanent scar was left never to be shaken or covered. It hurts, very bad to say the least and why? Various reasons.  Have you ever thought that pain can serve a good purpose? Have you ever thought pain can shed light on the things unseen or on the root of a deeper issue? No one likes to go through it true, but we do know it’s coming. We should be ready but as always, it catches us by surprise. We know our loved ones are going to die yet we are still “shocked” when it happens, disbelief. We know our words can hurt others and cause pain yet we continue to spew out negative-discouraging statements/words. We know heartbreak, let downs and failures are coming yet they still cause us great pain. We use various ways to cope with pain from substance abuse, marriage or spouse abuse, physical abuse and more. Yet it’s rare we see pain as a positive rather than a negative. Well, for my blog tonight, let’s focus on both types of pain. There is (1) Physical pain whereas someone has harmed our body. These scars and wounds are often seen and have a story behind; sometimes can be hard to hide. Then there’s the (2) Mental pain, which hurts our spirit and rarely do we see or even know about this type of pain. It’s often unseen, hidden in the deep pockets of our mind and heart, it causes pressure on the inside only to exit in an explosive manner. Both of these are linked together and I feel you can’t have one without the other. If you disagree, explain it to the couple who’s been married 50 years, one passes away and the other eventually becomes sick and passes a month later.

1–Physical Pain:

Pain: noun

1.

physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc.

2.

a distressing sensation in a particular part of the body: a back pain.

3.

mental or emotional suffering or torment:

Which one have you experienced lately? What part of the body has produced pain in your life? Did you know pain can be a good thing? Case in Point: I fall and break my leg. There’s great pain with a break however, the pain is showing-in most cases, where the break is located. (2)  I get a bee sting on my arm. The pain locates where the sting is therefore applying medicine is pretty evident.  Have you ever thought about how good it is that the pain pinpoints where it is? Therefore medicine or proper care can be given to the right place at the right time? Let’s take a look at some of the people who felt pain in the Bible.

1.  Paul.  Wow, what can we say about Paul other than wow. This is a disciple who spent about 3/4 of his time in prison, being beat, spit upon, stoned and treated terribly. Yet through all his pain, look at what Paul says.

II Corinthians 11:24-28 says: 

24 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.28 Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches.

Now, I don’t know about you but that’s some terrible stuff-yet he still found time within the pain, suffering and all that was going on, to praise God. So after all of this, he goes on to say in the verses beyond, he will glorify the infirmities of his life to glorify God. What did the pain do that was good for Peter?

1.  Restoration to God

2. Closer relationship to God

3. Kept his eyes focused on God

4. Reminded him of who he was suffering for and why

5. Reminder of who he was in Christ and how he could handle any and all afflictions through Christ.

2) Peter. Peter’s pain was a huge spiritual downfall as he denied Christ 3 times during His crucifixion. Peter, a man who stood up to the Roman soldier with reckless abandonment, chopping off the ear of the soldier-now denying Christ. Upon the 3 time, Peter knew he had failed Christ and his pain was relentless. Christ gave Peter the chance of restoration and redemption at the Sea of Galilee as Christ asked Peter if he loved Him (Christ) 3 times; each representing the denial.

1. Removed his confidence in himself

2. Removed his strength in himself

3. Removed his self reliance on himself

4. Caused dependency on Christ and Christ alone

5. Created humility within him through Christ

(See a pattern here in the first 3? Himself. We can’t turn pain into a good thing if we ourselves try to handle it; we must turn it over to God and allow Him to help us through it and see the positive.)

3.) Ruth.  Ruth was a woman of great passion and nature. Ruth learned how to serve and was loyal to Naomi and Boaz. She did what she could, living out her convictions knowing the repercussions would be torture and/or death. Yet Ruth withstood the pain of gleaning in the fields, waiting for the time to speak with Boaz about her people and because of her faithfulness to God, she grew in Godliness.

Ruth 1:16-18 describes a pain she had to endure:

16 “But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”18 When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.”

It pained Ruth to have to leave her mother, Naomi. So, she insisted and was “determined” to go with her mother instead of leaving her for another life. Ruth was so loyal to her mother, it was more painful to leave her than it was to stay. How many times in our life have we left only to have been followed by great pain for doing so? Did we ever stop and think it may have been for a reason?

Just with these few examples, can we realize the degree of pain they experienced yet still found God in the midst of it all. They even took it a step further by finding the positive in the middle of all the pain and despair. So my question is this, what do you do with your pain? Do you hold onto it, let it fester in your life, rule your life and everything/everyone in it? Do you find the positive in only what you want to find or do you invest your time and efforts in finding the positive in it all?

I’m not saying pain is easy or sometimes even manageable but what I am saying is God is bigger than any problem or pain you can ever imagine. See, God endured the ultimate pain, sacrifice to save our life-knowing we would turn our back on Him, spit on Him and even deny Him. (Yet we question them so many times or ask the question “how” can someone do that? Don’t we??)

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,t whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

Sometimes pain is brought into our lives due to circumstances beyond our control. Sometimes pain is brought about due to our own fault or reason. Yet sometimes pain is brought into our lives to show us a place which needs attention; pride, lust, envy etc. Sometimes pain is brought into our lives to strengthen us and make us stronger so that we can share our story of triumph through Christ with others; our story if you will. Our perception of the pain we experience is very important and vital to how we recover. We must remember that God will protect us and deliver us from it and if we don’t look to God for answers, the pain will be in vain. No matter what you’re going through in your life, try to find the good in it. You have to make the effort and look for it though, it’s not going to “come to you,” God will reveal it if you truly trust and believe in Him. I know this blog is a little longer than my usual but I feel someone who’s going to read this will benefit. I feel I’m writing this not only for them, but for the others out there who are struggling right now with the painful situations in their lives. If that’s you, please give it to God and allow Him to take it from you. Nothing can fill that void in your life but Christ Jesus. Christ tells us in Hebrews what Pain produces; is it producing a harvest and peace in your? Maybe a new perception can help change it all.. Time for a change don’t you think??

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Hebrews 12:11

Parasites-What are they good for??

Parasites. Here’s what the CDC has to say:

“A parasite is an organism that lives on or in a host and gets its food from or at the expense of its host. Parasites can cause disease in humans. Some parasitic diseases are easily treated and some are not. The burden of these diseases often rests on communities in the tropics and subtropics, but parasitic infections also affect people in developed countries.”

Look at the word towards the end of the sentence highlighted in red-expense. It gets its food from or at the expense of its host. That means the host will decline in health, loose all senses, organs will soon collapse and its body will shut down; death is eminent. How does this apply to our lives, our marriages and our future? Simple, everything.

In our life, parasites take many forms, shapes and lengths of time to unfold. For example, an alcoholic parasite may take years before it shows the fatal results, pornographic parasites only takes weeks and/or months to show damage, drug parasites take only minutes to consume your life.. The list goes on and on yet the parasite, if not treated immediately and effectively, will cause death. For the sake of this blog however, I want to focus on marriages, how parasites slowly kill our relationships and marriages every year.

Parasites seep into your marriage in many different ways.

1) Pornography: Porn is an estimated 100 billion dollar industry worldwide. Just on the internet, porn earns 2.84 billion a year while worldwide industry produces about 4.9 billion. That’s just the internet, not magazines, pictures and other forms. 1 in 3 viewers are women while over 70% of men aged 18-24 visit porn sites in a typical month. Now those are just a few statistics about pornography as I want you to realize how rampant it is and dangerous. “It’s hurting noone, it only affects me and as long as I do it in my home in my bedroom, it’s no one’s business!” Right? Men, it will sneak up on you and tell you all kinds of lies and will ruin your marriage, respect and your home; essentially your life. Parasitic porn, that’s what it is.. It’ll suck the life right out of you, cost you more than you want to pay, keep you longer than you want to stay and take you further than you want to go.. Sound familiar?? Yea, sin.. That’s the result of sin and when you don’t grab a hold of it, stop it, clean it up and out of your life, then before you know it, it’ll cost you everything you’ve worked for and more.  Christ tells us in Psalms 119:37-

“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.”

Porn is worthless, addicting, degrading and a terrible door to open in your life.  Gene McConnell is a recovering porn addict and I truly believe what he says is so true in today’s society.

“I believe pornography exists because we have a need for it. The reason porn exists is that we live empty lives. The issue is intimacy, our greatest need.”

Is that not the truth?

2.) Alcoholic Parasite: “I can quit any time. I only drink a few every now and then. I’m a social drinker, so it’s all good” Let me throw you some statistics:

88% of all people are lifetime users of alcohol, 1 out of 2 rapes and 1 out of 3 suicides are alcohol related.

50% of all home accidents and 53% of all traffic deaths are alcohol related.

39% of all marriages that ended in divorce stated alcohol was a contributing factor.

In other words, alcohol is a rampant and accepted part of our society with no regards to God and our own Christianity. The thing about alcohol is it takes the shape of that slow death parasite; sometimes working fast but usually takes its time. It starts off with social and only one or two but, it opens the door and keeps the door open for other sins in our life. When we never close that door completely, it allows other habits and hang-ups to invade our being and we soon begin to justify it like everything else. It eats you from the inside out, causing depression, aggravation, separation, anxiety and other issues. This in turn, becomes a parasite for your marriage, for your life and your career not to mention ruins everything you’ve worked for. Alcoholic parasite, ruin your life, marriage and everything you work for..

So how can we connect the dots? II Corinthians 5:17 says:

“Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature, old things are passed away and behold, all things are become new.”

Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Finally, Ephesians 5:15-17 wraps it up about the parasites of our lives. What parasite has gripped your life and ruining your walk with God? What parasites are you hiding or you think is hidden, from others which is eating you from the inside out-destroying your life, marriage or relationships? Bring it to the light and allow the truth to be revealed so that your life can be set free from these parasites. Stop ruining your life and start living your life to the fullest and the way God intended.

“(15) Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, (16) making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (17) Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” 

Find the parasites and allow God to destroy them. Get rid of them because to answer the question-What are they good for?? Nothing..

That’s “just the way I am.”

We’ve all heard that before and even said it from time to time. Someone is forgetful-that’s just the way I am, I can’t remember anything. We struggle with money, marriage, religion-insert your issue here, that’s just the way I am; or my parents were.. We always seem to justify our actions as being, “the way I am.” Have we ever thought we could change? Honestly, have we ever thought to our self that if we tried hard enough, we could possibly change our ways? We could right, if it didn’t require us to “change,” wasn’t painful and we could select the outcome or consequences. If we change, it may cause us to loose something we’ve grown use to..

Proverbs gives us an idea:

• Proverbs 14:12 KJV
  There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

There are many times when we fall victim to satan’s lies and deception. Satan tells us we “can’t” change, we’ve been like this for years and I just can’t change. Satan will tell you that change will uproot your world and take you out of your comfort level. Oh, and it can’t be worth it, because you’ll fail and that’s just the way you are. Christ tells us through scripture that if we trust in Him and lean not on our own understanding, He will guide the way. The kicker however, is we must follow His way and His lead.

• Psalm 1:6 KJV
  For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

 

• Psalm 18:32 KJV
  It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.

It’s God who will give you the strength to change, if you truly want it. God will “gird” you with strength and THEN, He makes your way perfect. You have to ask for the strength to be given to you before He makes your way perfect. Now is that “your” perfect?? Of course not, it’s God’s perfection which is different than our idea or perception. Just because you’re the way you are now, doesn’t mean you will remain the same way for the rest of your life; UNLESS you choose to remain the same..

I remember a Pastor saying one time: “By saying we are the way we are, we are saying God is the same way. In other words, if we’re someone who has a sour attitude and say that’s the way I am, we’re saying God has the same attitude.

Genesis 1:27-

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

God created us in His own image and He created us individually. He created us with the ability to choose on our own how we feel, act and how we are.. It’s our decision to change and if we want to bad enough, we will.

Joshus 24:15 sums it up:

15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

So, are you “just the way you are” by choice?? I believe we all are due to our choices that we make on a daily basis. We choose to allow the things in our life to control us, ruin our perception and believe the lies which are so destructive. Be honest with yourself and think about that. Sure it’s tough, consuming in our life but do we ever once look to God sincerely? Are we walking with God BEFORE the problem or do we wait until we “need” God and cry out to Him to be saved? Is God like a button we push when we need Him and after we’re done, we’re on our own again? Sad part about that is we use God for our own advantages and when we’re done, we walk away with no remorse. Is it “Just the way you are” or could you change some things about your attitude and way of living? You have to make the choice, what will it be??

 

Is the Bible real-I mean everything??

I think this is an age old question which has perplexed many people over the years. We wonder if all the events which took place are accurate and are there any books which were left out?? What about the reliability of the whole book, is it valid? Which Bible is correct, aren’t they all the same? We tackled some of those questions today in church and I just had to share it. Steve did an excellent job of answering some of these and more tough questions. Here’s a snapshot of his message-THANKS STEVE!!

1. What you believe about the Bible determines how you live your life. If you don’t believe the Bible, it will affect how you live, if you only believe parts of the Bible, it will affect how you live your life. More importantly, what you believe about the Bible will determine your values, morals and spiritual walk and relationship with God. II Timothy 3:16 says:

16” All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,17 so that the servant of Godt may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (NIV)

Christ is clear about the scriptures being “God-breathed” meaning, it was breathed into man by God. Yes man wrote the book but ALL scripture was G0d-breathed and is useful. Christ breathed very life into the words we read in order to be ready and equipped for every good work. Look at what II Peter 1:21 states:

21 For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.

When you begin to look at the origin and foundation of the Bible, it is impossible by all standards for the Bible to have been placed as it is today. (Actually it’s pretty ironic since with God, ALL things are possible.) Let’s take a look at some facts:

The Bible contains 60 different books, by 40 different authors on 4 different continents in 4 different languages over a span of 1600 years. I would love to know how ‘man’ wrote the Bible and placed all the  chapters, verses and books in order. What we’re missing is  The Bible was written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit by over 40 different authors from all walks of life: shepherds, farmers, tent-makers, physicians, fishermen, priests, philosophers and kings. Despite these differences in occupation and the span of years it took to write it, the Bible is an extremely cohesive and unified book.  We can get caught up in all the logistics for days but the important things are:

I can trust the Bible as the Word Of God because the Bible is 1.) Inspired, (2) Reliable, (3) Relevant, and (4) a Revelation of God. In other words, we must trust the whole Bible because it’s relevant to our life, it’s reliable in every way, inspired and breathed by God and it’s God’s revelation to us. Hebrews 4:12 tells us:

12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

What do you believe? Are there parts of the Bible you can accept but others which you can not? Do you struggle believing the scriptures, what God says and maybe even everything about it? Christ says to believe in Him, His word and His love for you. You haven’t done anything-anything which is unforgivable by God, just trust in Him, ask for His forgiveness and repent of your sins. He can and will help you, He’s even active in your life right now. You can mull over the logistics all day long but we know the wind is there because we feel it-yet we can’t see it. God is the same, He’s active and in your life and even though you can’t see Him, He’s there. Let me leave you with this verse from John 20:30-31:

30 Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book.31 But these are written that you may believet that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

So is the Bible real-everything in it, above it and below it? You bet your salvation on it!

 

• 1 Corinthians 10:13 KJV
  There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Until this morning, I had used this verse for many things and in many ways. As I listened to Steve @ church this morning, he made a statement which stuck with me all day.. He said we often times use I Corinthians 10:13 as a way to tell others, “God will not put upon us more than we can handle.” However, this verse says no “temptation” taken you, NOT that God will not put upon you more than you can handle.. Truth is Steve stated, God WILL put more on you than you can handle so that you will depend on Him, NOT on your own understanding..

When we loose TRUST in God, we  loose sight of who God is and the belief of what He can do. Without the Trust in God, we can’t have the Faith that it requires to believe in Him and please Him the way we were created.

Hebrews 11:6 states:  6 And without faith it is impossible to be well-pleasing unto him; for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that seek after him.

Without the trust, you loose sight of Who God is, without trust, you loose the Faith it requires to believe.. As you can tell, it all goes hand in hand.. Take a look at this clip from “Fireproof.” Caleb had been tempted by pornography and had a tough time breaking the hold it had upon him. In order to eliminate the temptation, he finally had enough and check out what happens…

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I don’t know where you are in your walk with God but I know I’m not where I need to be.. I mean, I’ve truly struggled over the past 2-3 weeks allowing circumstances to steal my joy. Not only the joy from my job but my family as well. I hadn’t been myself and I allowed the things of my job, issues with my family and other “stuff” to corrode my joy and steal the happiness God instilled within me. Trust and Faith issues has plagued my life over the last few weeks and after this morning’s message, I’m done with it.. I realized my joy comes from God, I realized my situations can be a result of nothing I’ve done except to try and turn my back on God; that’s not going to happen. I don’t have to “bash my computer” or throw my TV out the window, but I do need to take the spiritual “bat” of God and begin working my way back to where I need to be.. Not only for myself, but for the representation of God as well.. So how do I do this? Quiet time.. Will I make it by tonight or tomorrow?? No.. but I’ll be trying the best I can..I’m determined to make this change so that I can have my joy, happiness and represent God the way He created me to be.

What is your temptation? What is your dis-belief?  What is stealing your joy in your life and causing you to doubt God and loose Faith? Face it, if you’re worried, not placing the trust and believing in God-your belief in God could be rocked on its very foundation. Faith. Believe. Hope.Love.Trust. These are the important parts to a healthy walk with God along with the quiet time you spend every day..

How to Commit Adultery

(LifeChurch.TV)

Up to 65% of husbands and 55% of wives will commit adultery by age 40. (Journal of Psychology & Christianity)

FIVE EASY STEPS TO COMMIT ADULTERY
 
1)   NEGLECT YOUR MARRIAGE

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2)   ENJOY COMMON INTERESTS AND FORM AN EMOTIONAL BOND WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

3)   ANTICIPATE TIME TOGETHER.

4)   FLIRT WHENEVER POSSIBLE.

5)   MAKE EXCUSES AND RATIONALIZE YOUR ACTIONS.

(Andy) I think we all find ourselves in one or two of these situations. If we’re totally honest, we do experience one of these topics on a daily basis. Let’s face it, it’s innocent right? No one is hurt, he/she understands we are just friends.. What we fail to understand is simple: A dam doesn’t crack over-night-it takes time and so does our marriages. It takes time, effort, flexibility, understanding and God’s intervention to keep our marriages strong and Christ-like. People don’t just “cheat” all of a sudden or “never seen it coming.” Our marriages are a sacred bond with God and He takes it very serious as we should. Marriage isn’t something we should enter in lightly or with a flagrant heart-but one of purpose, dedication and commitment. Back to the dam analogy, it takes years for a crack to break and allow the water through. Over time water may seep through the cracks but never seem to “break” through if you will. However, the internal damage of constant water wearing through the cracks is simple; it corrodes the inside until it weakens the material in which time-it breaks. The damage that crack makes is unknown until it’s to late. The damage afterwards if the crack isn’t dealt with appropriately and effectively, is astronomical. Our marriages are no different, we MUST take care of the cracks and allow NO water to seep through. We must take our marriages seriously and fight for our partner, respect and care for each other. Gone are the days when we tell people we are “married” and it brings respect, honor and dignity. Today’s society has taken upon itself that if the marriage (or things) don’t work out, they can start again. When we enter into marriage, we must understand it’s a fight for our partnership, for our love and if God isn’t the center and driving force, it can NOT be blessed the way God has intended it to be. You’ve opened your marriage up for countless attacks and surely it will fail. We must be vigilante to protect our marriages  as we would do whatever it takes to protect our family. How or what can we do?

DO WHATEVER IT TAKES
1)   TO RADICALLY REDUCE THE RISKS.

8 Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house, 9 lest you give your best strength to others and your years to one who is cruel, 10 lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich another man’s house. Proverbs 5:8-10

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28

–Keep a growing relationship with Christ.

–Never be alone with the wrong people.

–Never talk badly about your marriage with the wrong people.

–Surround yourself with strong marriages

–Avoid of inappropriate places and situations.

TO INVEST PASSIONATELY IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. 20 Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife? Proverbs 5:18-20

captivated—shagah (shaw-gaw’); to be ravished, captivated, enraptured, intoxicated, consumed.

Get transparent.

Get alone.

Get spiritual.

Get help.

.



3)   TO VISUALIZE THE DESTRUCTION.

3 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; 4 but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. Proverbs 5:3-5

What % of people actually marry the forbidden lover? 3%

What % of those marriages end in divorce? 75%

What are the odds of a lasting marriage? .075?
GOD’S GOOD NEWS:
EVEN WHEN WE ARE UNFAITHFUL, GOD IS FAITHFUL

13 if we are faithless, he will remain faithful… 2 Timothy 2:13

(Andy) So, you have a choice in your marriage-you can either allow your marriage to crack, become weak and like the dam, crack and destroy everything in its path, or you can fight for your marriage. You can allow God to take your marriage, mend the cracks, smooth the rough edges and strengthen it beyond what you could ever imagine. God can heal any brokenness along as you allow Him and want Him to. In Hebrews 13:4, scripture tells us to honor our marriage and whether we are married or not, you should still work to keep the marriage bed “pure.” In other words, even if you’re not married, one should respect those who are.  So, out of the 5 ways we examines and invest in your marriage, what is one specific thing you can do to strengthen or “better” your marriage? I encourage you, DON’T wait until it’s too late to try and “fix it, don’t wait until the flirting has gone to far, don’t wait until nothing seems to be going right in your marriage, you’re angry at your spouse or significant other, don’t wait until your love for one another begins to fade….Don’t wait until these things to happen to “wake” you up to try and save your marriage.. You wouldn’t wait until your children/parents get hurt to try to save them, rather you’d stop them before they get hurt. Do the same with your marriage, stop the actions, stop the nonsense, stop the crack before it gets bigger and begins to break from the inside.

I hope this has helped you as it has me. I know I use some of these same excuses and justifications as the next person yet I’m reminded of my dedication, commitment and bond I made with my wife Kim through God. Love your marriage, fight for it and make it what God intends it to be.