Forgotten Virtues #1: Honor

Without honor, it’s difficult to place value on anything you hold dear. Let’s face it, the value we place on things today could use some proper thought and respect. Well, before we can venture any further, we must have a standard definition we can go on and here it is:  Honor means to value, respect or highly regard something as precious or valuable. So with that definition, my first question is placed:  What do you value in your life as precious or valuable? What do you respect with utmost regards for your life and spiritual walk with Christ?

First, we must understand respect is earned whereas honor……is given. Take a look at Mark 6:5-6-

5 He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them.6 He was amazed at their lack of faith.

See, our honor goes further than just the exterior but it deals with the interior as being the primary hub of our life. Honor is not something that is here today and gone tomorrow; even though it can be in some cases. Let’s be honest, we honor a lot of things especially when it comes to celebrities, sports figures and our own family. We say we value and honor God but our actions show a different path. We say we love other people and should accept them “just the way they are” that is until an individual is found guilty of a terrible crime, a homosexual walks into our church or someone walks in whom we have a grudge and then…..then the story changes.. What about that “ex” in the relationship who isn’t cooperating the way you want them too, who chooses to make continuous choices which are not of God. We find those people who have a lot of tattoos, known to drink or dabble in things they shouldn’t, and chastise them, condemn and judge them in ways we think are justified. Well then, who are we called to honor right?

We are called to honor our father and mother.  Look at Exodus 20:12:

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12


See, this is a command from God, not a request or if you want too do that type request.. God commands us to honor our father and mother and why?? So that you may life long in the land of the Lord the Lord is giving you .

Second, we’re called to honor authority:

Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe…respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Romans 13:7

God is clear on authority and how you’re suppose to honor it as well.

There’s a third one as well: servants, leaders and pastors.

The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching. 1 Timothy 5:17


 
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10 ESV

My second question is:  Do we honor each other? Do we love each other-truly love each other or is it something we say?? God is clear to command us to not only love each other but show honor-trying to “outdo” one another! God also commands us to love the elders of the church and especially “those whose work is preaching and teaching.” I know in church it may be hard from time to time to love the elders and those who teach and preach but, God is clear. We must support our pastor and the elders as long as it’s biblical and he’s being led by the Spirit. (There are exceptions but for the sake of argument, we’re assuming this is not one of them).  If a pastor or leader is “led by the Spirit” and you honestly believe it, then why would you go against it? Yet we do it all the time as we play games with God and jump from church to church.  There’s no honor when we try to share our allegiance with God and something/someone else.. We continue to have our “own” belief yet in the Bible, it’s clear. Yes, I understand we have various interpretations but after everything, it should all come back to the Kingdom of God. If we’re honest with ourself, the reason we’re so dishonoring is because we don’t honor God. We treat Him like something in the words if we just go and find it.. It’s not like that, he’s right here waiting for you to make a move; it’s up to you..

What’s left right?? How can we honor those around us whether they deserve it or not?  What do you honor in your life more than God?  When we dishonor ourself, we’re in essence dishonoring God.  Let’s fight this thing together..Let’s honor one another and more importantly, our God. He IS RISEN!! HE IS NO LONGER DEAD!!

Maintenance Required…

Cars have a mileage at which they require maintenance to continue running at its top condition. Yards, landscaping etc. have a time in which they need more attention than at other times; maintenance. Car seats have a 6 year “life” but while it’s in your car, it requires constant checking to make sure it’s tight and secure; maintenance. Everything has maintenance to help continue top working order, but do we? Where do we fit in on maintenance? Where does the church, life groups, friends and family fit into the maintenance schedule? Sadly, it doesn’t at times. Let’s face it, there are areas in our walk with God we forget to address or it’s “addressed by this group or that group,” not me.. More specifically, the church people at times can forget to maintain the relationships, issues in peoples lives, and truth be told it can’t address all of them. I’ve noticed throughout my professional career as an educator, my walk with Christ in the church, a husband-friend, and in general, we drop the ball in maintaining people and their issues. Don’t get me wrong and I send out this disclaimer very strongly: I am NOT bashing the church or the people in it. I’m not pointing any fingers as I myself have to point them at me as well.

Think about it; if someone has an alcohol addiction, pornography addiction or drug addiction, we’ll run to them, pray and lift them up. We’ll provide resources, people to help walk a long with them at times and support groups. However, once they’ve beaten the addiction/issues so to speak, they kinda fall out of the radar and people’s mind/sight. Here’s an example:

I know someone who struggled with alcohol, people thought he was hopeless and if God ever got a hold of him-it would be a miracle. Few people from the local church got wind he had questioned a little about God etc. and so they went to visit. After several visits he ended up wanting to go to church, cut their grass and became involved in the Christmas program. He did give his life to Christ and everyone around was excited. The devil worked over time so to speak because he and his wife began having issues. The church from our understanding knew a little but didn’t know the whole story and well to make a long story short; he stopped going to church, dropped out of the choir yet no one came to visit, no one came to check on him but when he and his wife divorced, they had a lot to say.. (NOT positive if you will.) It’s so sad this situation happened and yes there are other facts and details we knew or didn’t know about, knowledge by the church was limited but the hurt and abandonment was still there. His response was hurt and disappointment-and to this day he’s still not involved at all with that church. Yet his view and perception is now tainted about not only the church but the people who are in it. He saw people who ran and helped him get out of the ditch but then walked off when he needed the guidance and direction to go; he was new to the whole thing.

Maintenance. It’s not only “repairing” or up-keeping your walk with other Christians but it’s also checking on each other, encouraging, a phone call, letter/e-mail-text or pat on the back. When we as Christ Followers bring people out of the muck and then leave them to fend for them self, even the strongest Christian can feel abandoned, left out or un-cared for. It’s satan working over time to make you feel that way but in a sense, we’re failing to do what Christ called us to do. Look at Romans 14:19

Romans 14:19 (MSG)

So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words;

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (MSG)

So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.

Just as a yard will be overtaken by the grass, weeds, bugs and other aspects, just as our car needs maintenance in order to keep running properly, our bodies need maintenance such as brushing our teeth so they won’t fall out, eating healthy to have a long and prosperous life, so should our Christian walk be maintained not only with God, but with each other.

We saw a short clip today which reminded me of something different. The clip basically featured a man who is seated in the church, asks the people (camera) to just let “him in,” no judgement, no second glances, just let him in. In that moment, I thought of how many Christians in the church has been helped and then left-unintentional that is and unseen, but nevertheless, left. No one has checked on them, no one has held them accountable anymore and no one is just “letting them in.”

I’ll be honest, these feelings have been felt at times in my life. Yes my walk with God hasn’t been as close as it should have been, nor where it needed to be. I was struggling fitting in, trying to find my place with the ‘cliques’ that have been formed yet feeling a sense of loneliness… I’m not going to write about anything that I don’t know about or felt at one time or the other. The point?? I’m not the only one who walks into a church, school, family or other places where maintenance is required-and feel alone or left out.

Our walk with God is our responsibility and shouldn’t depend on anyone or anything I get that, but scripture also tells us to encourage, lift each other up and build upon one another. So the question remains: Do you feel this way? Is your maintenance light on in your life yet you’re having a hard time with the repair? If someone you know has been out of church, meeting, social circle or other, have you noticed and maybe just shot them an e-mail, text or phone call?? Are you the one out and haven’t received any notification yourself, so your feelings are in a tumble?

I’m not sure what the answer is at times, but I do know to trust God and I know He is our one true mechanic who is the ONLY one who can repair our hearts and feelings. Never allow satan to use those feelings to eat you from the inside because once he’s in, he’ll destroy your thought process, your perception and your reality. Sooner or later you’re thinking no one cares, no one calls and no one is there when I need them most.. (People have to know your hurting before they can help however, and you must continue to ask yourself if you’re involved in life groups, a social circle or other.)  Where are you in your walk? I’ve heard it said before, in order to get help, you must be a help first.. So are you helping??

 

To see doesn’t always mean you notice..

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between seeing and noticing? Seeing is what we do everyday; our brains process what we see, it registers and then a thought or judgement is formed etc. Noticing however, is on a different level of the spectrum. To notice means to carefully see details or realize things; favorable attention or special attention. To notice means careful consideration and thought has taken place and our brains remember more of what we notice than what we see. There are things in life that the Holy Spirit not only allows us to see something, but to truly notice.

True compassion compels us to do things we normally don’t do. Compassion causes us to cross the street to help our neighbor, bring food to a family in despair or during the loss of a loved one, compassion compels us to give a little more than we normally will during the time of crisis or emergency. Compassion is what Christ had for us along with mercy and grace, while hanging on the cross. Make no mistake, compassion is a wonderful thing but talk to anyone and they’ll tell you, it comes with a cost. Most people who have true compassion go against the world and their view of what compassion might be. Sometimes it may cost us stepping out of our comfort zone to help someone, maybe it’s giving a little more even when you don’t have any to give. We must understand, compassion is not a career or lifestyle, but an authentic following of God and His word. Understanding that God had great compassion on us so that we may have compassion on others. Look at what God has to say about compassion:

Psalm 103:13 (Whole Chapter)
The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.

Luke 6:36 (Whole Chapter)
You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.

Romans 9:16 (MSG)

Compassion doesn’t originate in our bleeding hearts or moral sweat, but in God’s mercy.

Ephesians 4:32 (MSG)

Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

Philippians 2:1 (Whole Chapter)
[ Have the Attitude of Christ ] Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate?

1 John 3:17 (Whole Chapter)
If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister [Greek sees his brother.] in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?

Wow. Doesn’t that last verse cut to the heart of the matter? If we’re not compassionate towards others, how can God’s love be in you or me?

2 Timothy 1:7:

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and a sound mind.”

If we’re going to fulfill the purpose God has for our lives, we have to be prepared to take risks. See, God wants us to take paths or create paths where no one has gone before. Is it scary? Of course it’s scary, unsure at first and most if not all of the time, out of our comfort zone. We have to remember that we are God’s workmanship created in Christ to do good works. We weren’t created to live like everyone else or the world, but we’re created to do good works being created in Christ. We’re saved by grace through faith; we can’t do anything on our own. We can’t “work” our way to heaven, we can’t do enough good things to make it and we sure can’t pray our way into heaven; we MUST be born again, ask Christ into our heart and believe He died for us and rose again on the third day.  So nothing we can do, say or combination of the two, can get us saved..

So my question to you tonight is: What are you noticing about your life that needs to change or be altered? Are you walking through this life just “seeing” everything or are you truly noticing things in your life? It’s a big difference-the two. We can see our life spiraling out of control, we can see our habits controlling our life, we can see divorce and money issues coming our way but until we truly notice through God’s eyes, they’ll never improve. What do you need to notice in your life and maybe make a change? I know I’m working on a few things because I’m tired of just seeing things; I want to notice things in my life..

 

Blueprint to your life…

Do you realize you were God’s idea? Yea, you were. Matter of fact, you were designed and equipped for a unique purpose in life. God created you and I for Him; for us to love, serve and worship Him in all things. It was for this reason as sin entered into our life through Adam and Eve, God gave His only Son to die on a cross for you and I. He wanted to pave a way back to Him, get all the “stuff” and junk out of our lives so that we could find Him. The only way was to send His Son as the Redeemer, the Savior and sacrificial Lamb of God, to save us from our sins and die on a cruel rugged cross. Yet, the bill has been paid, the ticket punched, the accused found-not guilty yet here we are.. We still lack that yearning feeling on the inside of us which eats away at our very soul and well-being. It’s that emptiness alcohol, pornography, materialism, pride and gluttony tries to fill on a daily basis yet, they only seem to be a temporary fix. Truth be known, our lives were designed to live out a wonderful life and accomplish things which are bigger than ourselves yet doubt fills our troubled mind and spirit. The good news however, is we still can. We have to be willing to open ourself up, expose our inner sinful being and hand control over to God. We need to understand our purpose and discover how to obtain it. The hole in our heart was put there very strategically by God, because He wants to be the one to fill it. It’s tailored made just for you, unique, crafted and designed by God on purpose. Basically, until we understand what God made us for, we’ll always be trying to fill the hole with anything and everything we can. When we realize what we’re here for and for whom we’re here for, it changes everything.

Ephesians 1:11:

“In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will.”

Notice how it says “with the purpose of His will,” not our own, or society, or our grandparents or parents. We seem to want to ride the coat tails of our parents/grandparents to justify our behavior or who we are now, circumstances in our life has caused us to be the way we are. Yet we forget, Joseph didn’t have the best of life: mother died while Joseph was young, father chose Joseph as the favorite, brothers hated him, threw him into a hole and sold him. Joseph was continually caught up in various situations and circumstances which tested his faith, trust and love for God. In the end, Joseph was able to save his brothers from the drought which had gripped the land. What character. What faith and love for God to endure all the trials and tribulations of what he went through, only to end up as King and save the very men who sold him away out of jealousy! Geesh, I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I could do that but Joseph is a prime example of what can be overcame through Christ if only we trust in Him, love and rest upon His word. Let’s face it, we say we do but do we really? Truly?

Let me ask you something..

1. If life gave you everything you asked for and hoped for, what would it be like?
2. Do you live reactively or do you respond to things that come your way?
3. If you could paint a portrait or picture of your life, what would it look like?
4. Are you developing a closer walk, clearer picture of what God’s will for your life truly is?

You want to know what your purpose in this life is? I can tell you: to have a true, close, uninhibited, all in, relationship with God. You see, if you’re not on the same page with God, if you’re not seeking Him and understanding He has a purpose for your life, there will always be something missing. Let’s be honest, if we truly understood why we’re here, our lives would look completely different. Our perception and vision for our life would be dramatically changed according to God’s perception and vision. Our whole reason for living would be a positive outcome changing our heart from the inside; therefore changing our outward expressions and actions.

What is the blueprint to your life right now? Looking at your life, what can be changed in order to get into the will of God and what He has planned for your life? What changes can be made to the blueprint of your life to better suit God’s will and His purpose? It starts with you. It starts on the inside with your heart and ends at the foot of the cross. Every blueprint I’ve ever known, heard or observed has always had an alteration or some type of change; so what’s yours? What can you change to make things better and to fit the plan? I know there’s a lot to change in my life and I’m working on it piece by piece. I don’t know about you, but I want my blueprint of life to match up with the God of my life.. What do you want??

Acting. Is it so wrong?

I guess that’s a loaded question in some retrospects.. When we’re acting like our age-maybe a good thing…what about when we’re acting like a fool-maybe a bad thing..Acting can or can’t be a positive in our life but there’s one place acting shouldn’t be a part of our life; our Christian walk. The church and our life is no place for acting or “playing” church or Christian. Matter of fact, when the church stops being the church and starts doing church, It becomes a dead monument. We must be sure that our heart is pure, it beats for Christ and Christ alone.

Matthew 18:11:

“For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.”

Christ didn’t come into the world to save the Christians, the “holy” or the faithful, but that which was lost. “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,” remember John 3:16?? God gave up His Son so that we may have life and life abundantly.. There was no acting when God hung upon the tree, beaten and bruised for our iniquities. He withstood it all for us and the best we can do is “act” like a Christian… We go to church on Sunday, get emotional and come Mon-Sat., we’re our old selves. Well, God has actually mandated us to reach a lost and broken world. We are God’s spiritual GPS system. Let’s face it, we have a generation of people on this earth who are preoccupied with life. They have no “purpose,” in their life and they’re missing out. They can’t seem to find a spot or what they’re suppose to do.. Yet, God tells us in Matthew 28:19-20 says:

“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: 20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.”

God tells us to teach, baptize them and observe all things. God has given us a command and tells us what to do so why do we “act” like we’re doing it? Our Pastor at Church at The Ridge said it best today in our Series: “One Cry;” “It’s time we start caring about God’s opinion and stop caring about the worlds!” Another way he put it was..”We all want to look around and ask for revival; we all want to look at others and tell them what they need but we don’t like looking at our own self and making the change; it’s the internal we need to look into.”  In other words, if we can get the internal, (heart) right-the external will follow. God tells us in Proverbs that the heart is the wellspring of life. God goes as far as telling us not to be conformed to this world. We’re not suppose to do the same things as everyone else, but we’re suppose to be different.

EX: The world says divorce is a way out, God says a covenant with Him should not be broken. (In respect to those who are in abusive relationships, verbal and/or physical etc.) The world says work hard and long hours to support your family, get as many things as you can; that’s what you’re owed.. You deserve it. Christ says in and through me, I’ll give you everything you need; you may not receive the riches of this world but you’ll be rich in Heaven. We could keep going but I hope you see the point, the world’s view is so contorted and twisted. The world says it’s about “me,” while God says it’s all about Him.

Romans 12:2

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

The bottom line, we have to stop acting like a Christian and start being one. Is it hard, yes very hard and at times, seems impossible. I’m so suffering in this right now but I’m going to allow God to take me to a place of realism. I don’t want to be fake anymore, acting one way with one group of people but acting a different way with a different group. In other words, I don’t want to “act” like a Christian on Sunday but Mon-Sat. act like a fool.. I want those around me to see Christ in me and I can’t do it when I’m acting..

So let me ask you, what are you “acting?” What’s not real in your life but you have everyone else thinking it is? There’s something you’re hiding, pushed way down and you’re afraid if anyone finds out, it’ll have a terrible outcome. You’re acting like everything is ok at home but inside, you’re torn apart; you’re acting like everything is ok with the habit of pornography, drinking, smoking or other habit or hangup, but inside it’s eating you apart. Aren’t you tired of it tearing at your insides, aren’t you ready to become real and just give it up to God?? Stop acting like a Christian…start being one.. As for me?? I’ll join you because let’s be honest-I act at times when I know I shouldn’t and I’m tired of acting.. Let’s get real.. You in or you want to keep acting??

Random thoughts..with a purpose of course..

Ok so, I’m always posting sermon type messages and sometimes I forget to just be real with my audience and myself. This blog is entitled, random thoughts with a purpose..Odd don’t you think? Random thoughts which have a purpose can actually be pretty helpful..and destructive..it just depends on the topic at hand..

For my first thought, have you ever felt like you’re alone even though you’re surrounded by people? Specifically-have you been thrilled to be with your family but everyone else just ticks you off? Sad part is, there’s not apparent reason?? Ughghg.. Isn’t that one of the worst feelings in the world? It’s not like you can pinpoint where the feeling has started or where you obtained it.. It’s just…there.. Then you snap at everyone, your quiet and just plain boring-almost in a depressed state of mind. However, when you look at the overall picture of things, your happy with everything around you.. but then again, it angers you because you can’t figure out what’s wrong.. That’s me.. As of right now, people irritate me, get on my nerves and tick me off! They can’t say too many things which I can agree with or if I do, I’m just agreeing to agree.. It’s like you’re in a dark hole, you see a light but no matter how hard you try-you never get close enough to reach it.. It’s always out of reach and becomes very frustrating.. For me, it’s frustrating because I don’t like being this way and it’s no fair to my family or my friends.. It’s not right so then I become angry because I can’t figure it out and if you know me, it upsets me not to be able to at least pinpoint something.. This attitude and feeling I have, is not giving me ANY understanding or clarity what so ever.. I look around and everyone is in a clique except me; when I try to get in one, there’s little reciprocation.. It’s almost like I don’t even exist in the world around me except with my family but it’s no fair I feel like this. I just want to lock myself away, listen to as much music as I can, scream and relieve the frustration that’s built up inside and move on with my life.. Who knows, I’m on a mission to figure it out so…if you’ve been here before, I’d love some advice..

Thought #2: Teachers are real people too. It’s what we do as a lifestyle, NOT a job. We struggle like everyone else and the difference-most of the time, between us and everyone else, we’re “certified and took some classes.” We’re not super hero’s, we juggle so many hats so many times, we don’t even know our own hat at home when we place it on our head! Yes it’s a profession/lifestyle we chose and we knew the implications-or at least most of them, when we started. Some parents do not understand their children, the work they’re required to do and what we’re required to teach. Of course if the parents would help us stand up for our rights and what we do, education would do a paradigm shift in a positive direction. However, with the lack of…ummm… guts should I say, we’ve allowed the education system to crumble and not have a leg to stand on anymore. There’s little support for our administrators which in turn, hurt the support from our administrators to our teachers. There’s little support from the “higher powers of educaiton-Central Office or the State Education Dept.” to the teachers which in turn, decreases morale and good teachers-no GREAT teachers end up leaving the system. In other words, we don’t work as a cohesive unit anymore and it’s tied our hands behind our backs in a precarious spot. Our teachers are on the front line, get to work early, stay late, PTA meetings, SST, RTI meetings, Lesson Preparation, extracurricular activities, meetings for the meetings we’re going to have etc. etc.. No I’m not griping or grumbling because this is the “profession” I chose but what I’m saying is this: We’ve taken the education out of education. We’re teaching our kids skills instead of educating them in the skills.. Big difference.. Anyone can teach something with the right tools for the job but educating them..they in turn become the teacher and they are now educating others.. We need our teachers back to educating our kids, manners, discipline, what to say-when to say it, the basics of life and a little bit of character education would be tremendous! Our hands are tied in most cases and we lack the support we need because the support needed, isn’t there from the top.

(Not saying all schools, admin etc. are like this, I’m speaking in general terms and in NO WAY am I referring to any particular or specific person, individual, school, school system and any likeness is pure speculation and heresay. The view reflective here is opinionated and have no foundational basis linking to any school or school system!)

Random #3:  Things are what they are because we’ve allowed them to be that way. We’ve sat by and allowed things to come into our homes, lives, marriages, relationships, schools, jobs etc. just so we could be politically correct.. Yet why is it politically correct all of a sudden?? Why have the different cultures never been bothered by Merry Christmas yet now, we can’t say it because it may “offend someone.” Well, this is America, the land of the FREE-home of the BRAVE.. We all have rights and if we’re offended, we just have to deal with it-that’s the American way right?? No, we’re not BORN that way either.. When we use that excuse we’re saying God created us that way and if that’s so, wouldn’t it be against His word to allow a killer to be birthed yet God commands us “Thou shalt not kill?” We all have a CHOICE in our life..Some more than others, some growing up do not I understand and empathize but..don’t use excuses to justify your choices in life.. No one was born a certain way except a sinner, lost from God…That’s the way you were born and through your life, you make choices which shape and define you for who and what you are and become. You have a choice not to live in the past, not to dwell and make excuses..you can move forward in your life it’s just are you willing and able to face the truth?? Are you willing to put it down and allow God to control it?? There’s a lot of people who’ve overcame many things in their life to become successful and peaceful at what they are doing today.. Why are they any different from you? They aren’t, they just put it down..

Random #4:  Have you ever wondered why there is “extra strength” of any thing? I mean, you have Tylenol-gentle, then Tylenol-full strength-finally, Tylenol Extra Strength! If your lucky-they’ll come out with Tylenol-Pure Strength! I know I’m not the only one who thinks about this stuff?? I mean, we have Dr. Pepper, D.Dr. Pepper, D.Caff. Free Dr. Pepper…just call it what it is?? Kinda pepper with a watered down taste with no calories or strength!

Ok, so I really don’t have a random #4 but I figured I had to leave it on a good note..

Walking down memory lane…

Isn’t it good to walk down memory? Ok, so during the good times-isn’t it nice to walk down memory lane? I had a small chance to do just that over the past 2 days. Between a friend finding a friend and they mentioning me in a comment, I was able to locate some old friends. These were friends of mine from 1996-97 at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. I attended UAB for about a year and 3-4 months; can’t quite remember.. Anywho, my room mate and I-Jeremy F. met that Aug. of 96. We were both insecure about who are room mate was going to be and he had just had a bad experience. I was just moving in and had no clue what to even expect, the rules or even how to do anything? Plus, this was the first time I was moving out of the house to actually have my own responsibility-scary since I had everything done to me to this point. However, Jeremy and I formed a wonderful friendship which even today, is pretty tightly knit. We don’t speak as much as maybe we should but he knows I always have his back-no matter what. Jeremy and I had a unique relationship and we are truly opposite from one another: Example: He was in the ROTC program, I respected it but I wasn’t going to do it. I liked rap music and he can’t stand it, he liked the History Channel and I liked Monday Night Raw!! We compensated for our shortcomings and made up for our shortfalls. We would often race home on certain nights of the week so we could watch what we wanted since we got to the dorm first! We would label our food in the refrigerator, take turns doing the dishes unless it was ours and often times we’d shop for groceries on our own; at first. As time grew on and I brought back my parents cooking, we realized if we’d work together, buy groceries together, prepare meals together etc,. things would be a lot better. We soon realized we could have a friendship which would make things easier, instead of harder so….it began. Jeremy and I became involved in various clubs on campus of UAB and if I was the Pres., he was often the VP and when he was Pres., I was often the VP. If we weren’t flip flopping the duties, we were very close in whatever we were doing. We ignited UAB with several entertainers such as CarrotTop, Etta Mae, Sammy Kershaw, Clay Aiken and many more. We held Springfest for 2 years in a row and had a blast. We met a lot of friends such as Lura Foreman who was our mentor/guide and overseerer. We met friends like Laura Pell who I have just re-connected with over the past 2 days, discussing “what it was like back then” while posting pictures of me with hair! Yes, I said hair! Lol. Natalie Holloway was another friend of ours along with Neil, Andre and Lindsay who were in our dorm complex; we were often times aggravating, visiting or hanging out with one another. The times we shared during the days of UAB are memories I want to hold onto forever. Not just because of the success we had, the things we done, the places we went and much more, but for the friendships we formed. Jeremy and I have remained friends over the past 15 years, I was honored and blessed to sing at his wedding and just recently we had lunch together with his family. It was great hashing over old memories and wonderful to see the new ones we’d both made. Not much has changed between us and now that we are in touch with some of the others, friendships will once again, become stronger.

Memory lane. What memories do you have which are positive? I know we all have negative and harmful memories but what are the memories you have which are positive in your life? What things can you think of that brings a smile to your face, or a memory which sparks a devilish grin from within.. What person can you think of which brings a positive impact in your life or brings a thought of fulfillment, happiness or peace to your life? Better question: Where would you be without them creating that impact in your life? What kinds of friendships would you have made W/O them in your life? Personally, I like…no I love the fact that I have Jeremy, Laura, Andre, Lindsey, Natalie and many others-impact my life. The friends I made there are still here with me today and the memories are kept forever. One day, I hope my children find the Jeremy and Laura’s in their life so they too, can share great memories and have wonderful friendships. Better yet, are you that to someone else?? You know, to have a friend you have to be a friend. I hope and pray that I was and still am, a good friend to the people around me. I want my friends to go with me through this life until my end comes. Friendships are rare, precious and are highly sought after if they’re true. I hope you have someone in your life that you can be a friend too and for you to be a friend of.. If not, you’re truly missing out on the splendors of life and basically, God’s desire for our heart.

Control.. Who doesn’t want it but too much can be bad.

What is control? Isn’t it something we all have to have? Isn’t it something we all need to survive in this life? Of course, there are times we must take control of a situation but when we carry it too far by trying to control everything?? It becomes a negative thing and affects your life and your health even. What about a control freak? Hmmmmm, I know some of you winced in pain there because you know you are:

Control Freak-A PERSON WHO HAS AN OBSESSIVE NEED TO CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE OR SITUATIONS.

Is this you? Are you like David in the Bible and try to control something that wasn’t yours to begin with? In II Samuel David did just a thing and maybe you think what you do isn’t as bad but is it?? Let’s look at what David does..

11 Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord’s men are camped in the open fields. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!”

13  At David’s invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master’s servants; he did not go home.

14 In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah.

15 In it he wrote, “Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.”

2 Samuel 11:11,13-15

Little did Uriah know, David had seen Bathsheba on the roof and now David had to hide his sin with her. So, the only way he could do it was to get Uriah drunk, pass out and sleep w/o going home to his wife. David had to think of something so he planned-tried to control the outcome-to place Uriah on the front line and then have everyone withdraw causing Uriah to be killed. Wow. Is that not intense and full of control?? Maybe you don’t think you do something that is that bad but do you? Do you withhold something from someone to “harm them” or “teach them a lesson?” Do you not do something in order to teach them a lesson or because you’re upset? In return what kind of damage are you doing to your marriage, finances and/or friendships? What is it doing to your relationship with God? Control can break you in half, ruin your life and your walk with God. What causes this control??  Fear.. Fear is the driving force behind our control.. We’re afraid of loosing control, we’re afraid of not knowing what to do or say, we’re afraid of not having an answer or the right answer, we’re afraid of what people and others may think…Is it making sense yet?? Be honest.. It’s our fear of rejection, failure and the unknown which are the root causes of our fear which in turn, creates control within us.. “Now now, it’s just that I want it done a certain way“-right?? Of course, the fear of something not being done to your standards or the way you want it.. “You don’t understand, I don’t know if where I’d get the money to build a new building, or move to another state or change jobs...” That fear of the unknown, lack of trust and unsure of God’s direction in your life because if He directed you to do it, then there’s no question.. Is it hard-of course, is it always clear-sometimes it seems it isn’t.. Look at Isaiah 41:10:

“So do not fear, for I am with you;… for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

God is assuring us, He is with us-He is your God, He will strengthen you, help you, uphold you.. This is the God of the universe saying He’s on our side-how awesome is that! How can we do this-what can we do?? How can we take control or can we take control of what’s holding us back?

First thing is to surrender our control and trust in God. We have to let it go and allow God to control us so that we can control the things in our life the proper way.. We have to learn to trust God more in our life and trust us less.. Proverbs 3:5-6 says it like this:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding…and he will direct your paths.”

We must trust in God: 1-when you need Him, 2-when you want too,  3-only when I can’t handle it and I’m down to my last option… NO NO NO!! God says to trust in Him with ALL your heart…He even goes as far as to say do not depend on your own understanding and then He tells us why….He will direct our paths.. The God of the universe, our Heavenly Father wants to direct our path, how cool is that!!

Second, we must surrender our life to Him; no reservations and no holding back.. Psalms 51:1-2 puts it a different way..

“Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins.  Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.”

We have to ask for His mercy to cover our sins, to be the “lawyer” for our case, to hide the blemishes we have and are yet to come. Christ didn’t die for nothing, He died for you and I. We have to surrender our life so that we can lay everything down before Him. See, without surrendering our life, we still have the tendency to hold on to what we want to hold onto, keep the trash hidden behind the door instead of out where it should be, control the parts of our life we want to control.. Let’s face it, if we truly wanted to “take out the trash” in our life, we’d do it. Why do we wait until we “have to” before we actually do it? Why do we wait until we loose control…before we try and take control?? Let me say that again: “Why do we wait until we loose control…before we try and take control?”  We have to give it up, loose control so we can have control but through Christ. 2 Peter 1:6 explains it:

“and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness;”

So it’s clear or should be. 1-we must relinquish our control. We have to give it up and allow God to take control.. 2-we must surrender our life to Him. We have to lay everything out, lay all the cards on the table-allow God to do the work.. We must let go so we can gain control through Him.

So what are your thoughts? What are you thinking about your life right now?? Are you all in-giving your life to God and allowing Him to control our life instead of us?? It’s up to you but I will say this: giving up control so you can have control will be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make.. Don’t believe me?? Try it and let me know how it goes!

Sickness-Pride

One of the biggest problems or issues we face.. Whether we believe it or not, pride is everywhere and in everything. You know, the “proud” feeling when we do, say or get something..What follows is the puffed out chest, internal feeling of ‘it’s mine’ or even ‘I did it myself’ can even creep up. Pride is so diverse and broad in it’s range, often times we don’t realize when it begins to take over. If we think about it and pay attention to what we’re doing while we do it, we begin to see a few signs. Look at what God says in the following few verses:

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Proverbs 16:18

“The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.”

Proverbs 16:5

“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

1 Peter 5:5

God speaks very candidly and plain on being “proud or what Pride” does in our life.

The most clear one we struggle with is “I can handle it by myself” pride. You know, the one where we think we can handle an issue w/o God’s help yet we don’t say that but… Or the times we try to handle our marriage, finances or parenting “our” way yet miss the mark on what God desires for us. What about the verbal or physical abuse you still carry around, the spousal abuse you still have on your back, the bad marriage, bad choices or even the things you’ve allowed to build up in your life. You think you can handle them, you want to hang on to it or else you would let it go. That’s pride.. You have to let the past go, quit trying to handle things yourself because that’s pride sinking its teeth into your life. It directs your life, your choices and everything in it if you think about it.

Another one we struggle with is the “I’m better than you.” Some of us struggle with that more than others but even in the smallest degree, it can show up.  You know, the time someone walks by, struggles with something you know about and you think-”I’ve beaten that before, it’s not that hard.. Why are you still struggling with that??” It’s the little things.. The little thought in the back of your mind when you compare your issue/problem/blessing/struggle with someone else’s only to place yourself, a little “higher on the todem pole.” We’ve all done it, we just may minimize it or justify the reasoning. It is however, pride sneaking in and taking a hold of your mind and creating a prideful heart.

The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men-robbers, evildoers, adulterers-or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ 

Luke 18:11-12

What can I do if I feel these things popping up or sneaking into my heart and life? You must pray and turn as close as you can to God. God is the only one who can help you remove this pride from your life, mind and your heart at that time. You can’t do it on your own-you’ve tried and failed so why are you still trying?? Isn’t it time to try something new?

Know this, the more you have pride in your heart and life, the farther away from God you will fall.. There’s no room for your pride and God in the same realm.. You have to allow God to take over when that “feeling” comes into the moment so that pride can not have a way into your life.

Let’s face it, the closer you are to God, the less pride you have- the more humble you become and the more broken you are.. God loves you but He can’t help you if you not willing to become broken for Him. Don’t wait until you’re broken before you move, move before you become broken.. Let go of those problems and issues in your life-let them go. Stop trying to take on your problems on your own knowing you are not successful. Stop trying to rid yourself of the past when the past is already gone yet you’re the one keeping it around! Stop complaining about the trash overflowing, the smell unbearable when you yourself haven’t taken it out; you’ve only complained about it.. You get it now? Do you like living in the past, do you like allowing the things of the past ruin your life and your paths? Are you not tired of missing the blessings of God because you can’t put down the problems He’s already taken out of your life-only for you to bring them back??

My prayer tonight is for all of us to lay this sickness called pride down at the feet of Jesus. To prevent it from infecting our lives and allow satan a foothold. If we continue to allow pride to be a part of our life, we will struggle with getting closer to God, we will struggle with becoming humble and the less broken you become. Without being broken, it’ll be hard for God to help you with the walk we so desire with Him. We will always feel like something is missing, a void. God is the only one that can fill that void so stop trying to place things in it which won’t work. What’s your choice-what are you going to do? What’s the desire of your heart and do you truly want the right kind of relationship with God? I know I want the right type of relationship but first….I have to get out of the way..

Sickness-Envy

Have you ever thought about a sickness in your life? What does that sickness do to your life, your job, your plans etc? Sometimes the sickness can be fatal while other times it comes and goes. Sickness though consumes our body and our life at times and slows everything down; re-routes your plans temporarily. What if I told you there are some sicknesses we live with we don’t even realize we have? Anger is a sickness we often justify as something we’ve “always had or that’s just the way I am.” Then there’s Envy. Hmmm, I don’t envy anyone or anything? I’m content and happy with what I have and who I am. What about Cain and Abel, Joseph and his brothers, Saul and David, satan and God.. These are examples of those who envied but it didn’t start out that way-it never does. At first you have a friend who let’s face it, isn’t what you are or maybe where you are with God or in life. That person finally gets saved after all the talks you’ve had with them, countless nights up crying and sharing. That friend receives a position in church or in Sunday School that you think you should’ve had. All of a sudden, you become angry and bitter, lashing out at the friend and others around saying they “just got saved, you’re going to place them in that position?” Never happy for them and if you are, it’s superficial. There’s other examples but the best example I can think of is between David and Johnathan. Saul’s son Johnathan was in line to become King of the land yet God had other plans. Now, if anyone has reason to be mad, upset, hurt and even envious, it would be Johnathan. However, Johnathan listened to God speak to him and David-therefore no envy or jealously was entered into their relationship. Look at what God says about Envy in James 3:14-16:

“But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

Envy doesn’t come from God or the Holy Spirit-it is earthly, unspiritual and even of the devil. There’s disorder in envy because it creates chaos, no organization and causes feelings to arise in you which are of the devil.  You could resent God’s movement in someone else’s life or even ignoring God’s movement in your own life. These types of resentment are prevalent in today’s society and almost welcomed. There’s always a “reason” and it’s ok to feel that way. In actuality, this is not the way we should feel and how we should act.  Look at what Proverbs 14:30 says about envy and boy, it gets down to the core:

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

See, most of the envy we feel, encounter, bring into our own lives is due to comparing us to others and their lives, profession, success etc. We love to compare ourself to others to (1) make ourself feel better or worse (2) gain empathy and sorrow and (3) get attention; from the other person or situation. Make sense? Of course and you may be thinking right now you don’t do things like that. I think if we’re totally honest with ourself, we’ll realize we do it more than we admit. God tells us in Galations 6:4-

“Each one should test his own actions…without comparing himself to somebody else.”

We need to start celebrating with others especially when it comes to God and His blessings. In Romans 12:15 Christ tells us in the first part of that verse to rejoice with those who rejoice; in other words, be happy for them and celebrate the goodness God has brought into their lives. Quit spending time discouraging the ones who need encouragement the most, each other. What would our world be like if we just encouraged people and those around us, celebrated when things went well, cried when things went wrong and laughed when life brings those moments into our life?

We can’t celebrate with others until we embrace God’s love and celebratory moments first in our own life. We have to celebrate what God does in our own life-no matter how big or small it may be. Just because we don’t get recognition for something we did yet someone else gets lifted up…celebrate! Just because you said the right thing in the meeting but it was perceived in a different light or by someone else?? celebrate. Know inside your heart God is doing a wonderful work of humbleness and graciousness right then. It may not be evident at the time but I promise you if you’ll pray for it, accept it and give it to God, you’ll see. Celebrate in the fact you have a Savior who loves you, given you the family, spouse, children, people, job etc. in your life you need to survive and when a new chapter opens, an old one closes-celebrate! Celebrate in all things-be happy and joyous knowing God has His hand all over it.

I leave you with 2 wonderful verses which I hope, can help turn your paths to clarity and truth. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 encourages us to “Always be joyful” and no matter what happens we should always be thankful-check it out..

Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Titus helps us understand what God did for us, offered His mercy to us yet we don’t give mercy to others? Why -because they don’t deserve it? Who are we that we deserve it? Who are we to not offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me, abused me, neglected me or sexually hurt me? We can’t-but God can.. That’s the point, we must die to Envy and the other things which keep us separated from God-no matter the cost. Sometimes we endure the pain for a time while other times, we endure it from here on out. Maybe we endure it to remind us what we should do, help others who are struggling with the same issue or remind us to stay close to God? It’s between you and God and you have to decide. God already paid the price for your sin, your short-coming-by giving up His one and only Son to die on a cruel cross. Then we don’t offer mercy, grace or forgiveness because someone doesn’t deserve it? We don’t deserve what we have yet Christ gave us His mercy anyway. Look at Titus 3:3-5 and allow it to talk to your heart, clear up some paths which have been fuzzy or undefined in your life-allow peace to overtake your heart.

…”Our lives were full of evil and envy. We hated others, and they hated us. But then God our Savior showed us his kindness and love. He saved us, not because of the good things we did, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins and gave us a new life through the Holy Spirit…”